Self-portrait & Kitchen 009I believe in equality for all no matter what color you are, who you pray to, who your lifetime partner is, or what planet you are from.

The current appeal in front of the Supreme Court of the United States has many of my friends excited for the possibility that maybe, finally, marriage for same-sex couples will move forward as it rightly should.

It disappoints me as a Christian to hear other Christians say being gay is a sin. It disappoints me as a human being when I hear others say it is a choice. Christians so easily forget Jesus telling us to love our neighbors as ourselves while they are busy quoting Leviticus. Who are we to judge each other in what is right or wrong? So what if your friends love people of the same-sex? So what if your son/daughter brings home someone of the same-sex whom they love madly. So what? Do you love them any less? Do you throw years of history with your friend because you don’t like their “choice?” Do you deny them the same legal rights that you have with your own spouse?

I think Jesus would be appalled if he returned right now and saw all the protests, fights to stop equality, and the hate being spewed all in his name. We were all perfectly and wonderfully made by our creator (no matter who you believe your creator to be). Yet these ideas that gays and lesbians are less than the rest of us does not sit right with me because I think of all my gay and lesbian friends as perfect and wonderful as my other friends. They didn’t choose their life, they just are. That’s how God made them, in his image. Tell me where in the Bible it says God is heterosexual because I’m pretty sure Jesus didn’t have a heavenly mother, just an Earthly one. Show me which of the ten commandments says, “Thou shalt not marry another of the same-sex.” Tell me how loving your neighbor as yourself means denying them the same rights you have and take for granted.

Maybe I was just fortunate to have grown up in churches that did not spew judgments about same-sex couples. Maybe that’s why I have this differing view from so many Christians. Or maybe I keep “God is love” in my head. Jesus was once scorned for spending time with a tax collector, just one step above the social ladder than the harlots at the bottom. Jesus didn’t care what they did or said. His mission was to be with the people and spread his message.

What if the world was reversed? What if same-sex marriage was just marriage? They were the only couples allowed to have legal unions. What if heterosexuals worked for decades to attain the same legal rights to marry and were still denied? Yes, decades. This isn’t a recent phenomenon. I remember having these discussions in my college Sociology classes.

Don’t like that scenario?

Where would we be without the Women’s Suffrage movement? Still under the thumbs of men being treated as property and no rights to vote.

Where we would be if Rosa Parks hadn’t refused to give up her seat on the bus for a white person? Still using separate bathrooms, separate drinking fountains, dining areas, and schools.

Where would we be if interracial marriage were still illegal? In giant groups with others of the same color still segregated.

Where would we be without Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem and hundreds of other women fighting for equal rights? The dark ages with the Cleavers.

If we lived in a world where the Suffrage and Civil Rights movements never happened most of you would be miserable and stuck in unhappy marriages with more kids than you can count. I probably wouldn’t even be writing this without Chaz’s permission.  Hell, my own marriage wouldn’t be legal along with my parent’s marriage. Which means I wouldn’t even exist.  Or, I would’ve married my ex and would be up shit creek without a paddle or canoe right now.

I feel fortunate to live in a time where so many people have paved this path we get to choose. I can juggle work and family or I can stay home. I get to vote every election or not. I was able to marry who I chose.

It’s time everyone else had that choice, too. If you don’t agree, that’s your choice, but don’t hide behind religion or skillfully crafted phrases and quotes that sound supportive and Christian-like but read “hate” between the lines.

I want my friends to be able to marry whom they choose. They have every right to be as happy as I am and you are as human beings.

To show support, my friend, Brittany, put together a Gluten-Free Raspberry Equality Pie. Make an equality pie and spread the love.


  1. Beautiful post! I couldn’t agree more. I’m very glad to see how many people are supportive of gay marriage, and yet, the people around me are…shall we say…a select group of wonderful people, so I may be getting a distorted view of the public’s opinion.

    • I know one of my friends was in tears yesterday when she saw so many of her friends change their profile pics to the marriage equality symbol. I have to say that I’m nearly in tears after one of my friends in Sweden JUST changed his once he found out what it meant because he believes the same. I know my friends in support greatly outnumber those who don’t and I’m trying not to hide their posts because I know they have every right to share their opinion, too. It’s just so hard when it screams “hate” to me.

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