Going Outside The Box

The raging itchiness from late last Summer caused by eggs returned a few months ago. I tried removing everything I could think of to see if there were any changes and no such luck. I finally got tired of the guessing game and started talking to my integrative doctor. She had me up my Omega intake and we discussed the possibility of Advanced Allergy Therapeutics (AAT). The itchiness went up Super Bowl Sunday. A few days later, it was jacked up again after making the Meyer Lemon Lavender Bars.

The connection I made between those days was the citrus. I tried to cut citrus out but everywhere I turned, there it was in its many different forms. You think cutting gluten or dairy or eggs out is bad? Try cutting out citrus. Aiya.

I knew beyond a doubt that a leaky gut was driving this.  I had to find out what was triggering the skin reaction because the constant itching and scratching was driving me insane at bedtime. It seemed to ramp up as I was trying to sleep. I also knew if I couldn’t heal my gut and alleviate what was going on in my body it would keep me in a state of low adrenal fatigue. My doctor did a blood draw at the end of my last visit three weeks ago for an IgG and IgA. They received the results last week and were able to squeeze me in with a naturopath on Monday to go over them.

My IgG results were high on a few things that were surprising and some that just confirmed what I already knew. This also confirmed that I definitely do have a leaky gut. I had high elevations for banana, pineapple, and chicken eggs, and low elevations for milk, goat milk, whey, duck eggs, baker’s and brewer’s yeast, cranberry, crab, gliadin, gluten, peanut, sesame seed, and whole wheat.  IgA results were high for crab and low for gliadin, gluten, peanut, rye, sunflower seed, whole wheat, and baker’s and brewer’s yeast.

Are you overwhelmed just reading all that? Don’t be. I’m not.

The naturopath suspected high levels of histamine in my body with all the itchiness going on.  But because of already being on what they call a “hypoallergenic” diet and the results of the blood tests, she wanted to focus on healing my gut but not make it worse for me by putting me on the wrong path.

Exit the box.

Enter a different world.

She sent me for AAT. She said to be prepared for the weird.

I get weird.

I managed to get an appointment for my first AAT the next day. Thankfully, the naturopath informed the chiropractor in the office who does the AAT testing and treatments that I’m already on hypoallergenic diet. He explained how our brains will decide that something that is natural and part of our food is “abnormal,” like minerals naturally found in our water, or natural food preservatives in our produce. AAT works to reprogram the brain and help de-stress the organ systems in the body affected by the constant state of abnormalness. It doesn’t always work, but from what I experienced yesterday, I am now a believer.

I was hooked up to the computer with a band around my arm. It sent electrical signals to my body to mimic the various foods and environmental products. I was lying on a bed and using kinesiology with these signals, the chiropractor had me raise my other arm in the air and hold it as the signal was sent and he tried to pull my arm down. His ability to pull my arm down is the response from my brain thinking it is abnormal. The control signal to show me what abnormal felt like is snake venom. SNAKE VENOM! Good thing we’re dealing with electrical signals and not the real deal.

On a whole, my brain thinks the following are abnormal:

• Beans
• Calcium
• Corn
• Dairy
• Eggs
• Food Preservatives (including naturally occurring)
• Grains
• Minerals
• Salts/Chlorides
• Sugars
• Vitamin A
• Yeast
• Carpet
• Insulation
• Cleaning Products
• Personal Care Products
• Cosmetics
• Grass
• Flowers
• Mildew
• Fungus
• Sinus Fungus
• Dust/Dust Mites
• Cats
• Dogs
• Cockroaches
• Sinus Biosubstances

Everything I listed for the blood tests are things I most definitely need to avoid to heal my gut. I am already avoiding gluten, dairy, and eggs. I have not had bananas or any other high potassium fruit since the adrenal fatigue diagnosis. I rarely have crab, pineapple, and cranberries. The challenge will be yeast, sunflower seeds, and sesame seeds. This means no more using nutritional yeast as my cheesy replacement.

Everything from the AAT testing not on the blood tests are things that will be reprogrammed. He did my first treatment after the testing on the sugars. He tested me for the individual sugars and came up with eleven different sugars my brain thinks is abnormal – cane sugar, corn sugar, corn syrup solids, grape sugar, fructose, glucose, sucrose, lactase, molasses, stevia, and one more I can’t remember. He went ahead and treated me for the sugars yesterday when we were done with testing since I agreed I could not eat for four hours after. It was mid-afternoon and normally he instructs patients to not eat for two hours after treatment and to avoid the food for twenty-four hours.  However, sugars and minerals are unavoidable so he doubles the no eating time for to help the new “learning” go from short-term memory to long-term memory.

The actual treatment involved stimulating the acupuncture points along my spine while doing controlled breathing for each individual sugar as the signal is being sent to my body. The stimulation also helps calm the body systems being overworked. In my case with the sugars, all my organs were in a state of stress.

It sounds weird, new age-ish, and/or something akin to voodoo. I don’t know. All I know is at the end of the treatment when he retested for each individual sugar my brain was accepting them as normal. Sometimes when all avenues are exhausted you have to take an unknown trail and blaze it. 

I am blazing my trail without an ounce of frustration or sorrow for what I leave behind.

Port Wine “Cheese”

Port Wine “Cheese” ~ gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free, soy-free

I know I was quiet on here for over a week.  A little unusual since I was posting regularly.  Rest assured I’m not super sick or life is spiraling out of control as it seems to do when I disappear.  I really didn’t mean to.  Every time I sat down at the laptop to write this post dialogue, scenes, and ideas swirled through my brain and I had to write them down.  I’m not even sure what happened this week other than I spent a lot of time typing on the keyboard.  So much so that Chaz was wondering what happened to his wife.  He’s never seen me in full-blown creative writing mode.  I’m not sure he likes this mode of mine, but he didn’t complain.

Finally, I can give you this recipe I keep making this week because I can’t seem to stop eating it.  Chaz and I used to eat a lot of port wine cheese years ago.  I can’t remember when we stopped buying it, but I started missing it recently and decided I needed to play with a dairy-free version.

You can eat this with your favorite gluten-free crackers or with veggie sticks.  I ran out of celery pairing it with this.  If you are vegan, make sure your port wine is vegan like Crusted Port, Single Quinta Port, Traditional LBV, or Vintage Port.

Port Wine “Cheese”

1 cup raw cashews, soaked for at least 4 hours

3 tablespoons port wine

1 tablespoon olive oil or grapeseed oil (I like it better with the olive oil)

2 tablespoons nutritional yeast

1 tablespoon filtered water

salt, to taste

Place all ingredients in a food processor and process for a few minutes.  Scrape down the sides and bottom as best you can and process for a few minutes.  Test it and adjust salt as needed. Repeat scraping down the sides and bottom.  Process until it is as smooth as you want and then chill in the refrigerator.  You can eat it when it is done processing.  Chilling it makes it firmer like a regular dairy port wine cheese would be.

This recipe is linked to Wellness Weekends at Diet, Dessert, and Dogs; 5-Ingredient Mondays at The Daily Dietribe; Slightly Indulgent Tuesday at Simply Sugar and Gluten-Free; and Gluten-Free Wednesdays at The Gluten-Free Homemaker.  

Vegan Spinach Artichoke Dip (gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free)

Vegan Artichoke Spinach Dip

Some time last year I decided I needed to try to make Spinach Artichoke Dip without all the dairy and other stuff that makes it so gooey and irresistible when you see it on a menu at a restaurant.  We were out to eat and I saw a plate of it being delivered to a nearby table and I found myself thinking, I kinda miss that.  I bet I could make it without using dairy.  I added it to my growing list of ideas that kept getting put on hold because I had no energy.

Then Super Bowl Sunday started creeping up.  I was home to watch it for the first time in years AND my Niners were playing for the first time in even more years.  I made lettuce-wrapped burgers and decided to attempt a try at the Vegan Spinach Artichoke Dip recipe that was swirling around in my head.

I was pretty impressed with the results and had to give myself a pat on the back.  Chaz even said it was “pretty good,” which he rarely says.  I normally get, “It’s good.”   Or sometimes he licks the bowl or plate.  The action says it all.  I thought the cheese flavor was a little strong, but Chaz liked it.  We both agreed that the spinach and artichoke wasn’t shining like it should.  Easy fix, right?

RIGHT!

I served the dip with carrot sticks, cucumber sticks, and quartered radishes for the Super Bowl meal.   Making it again I decided to use up the corn tortillas in the fridge and made baked tortilla chips to go along with it.  I brushed one side of each tortilla with a little grapeseed oil as I stacked them together before cutting into sixths and throwing them on baking sheet in the oven.  Easy stuff.

Vegan Spinach Artichoke Dip – serves 4

1/2 cup raw cashews (covered in filtered water, soaked for 4 hours, drained)

1 Tablespoons filtered water

1 1/2 teaspoon apple cider vinegar

1 1/2 teaspoon grapeseed oil or olive oil

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 Tablespoon nutritional yeast

1 14 ounce can artichoke hearts, drained and divided in half

1/4 cup frozen spinach, thawed and liquid squeezed out

Place cashews, water, vinegar, oil, salt, and nutritional yeast in a food processor or quality blender and process until smooth, stopping to scrape down the sides 2 or 3 times.  Add in half the artichokes and process until smooth again.  Add remaining artichokes and spinach and process just until the spinach is incorporated through the dip.  You should have small bits of artichokes in the dip.

This post is linked to Wellness Weekends at Diet, Dessert, and Dogs; 5-Ingredient Mondays at The Daily Dietribe; Slightly Indulgent Tuesday at Simply Sugar & Gluten-Free; and Gluten-Free Wednesdays at The Gluten-Free Homemaker. 

Meyer Lemon Lavender Bars (grain-free, gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free)

It really is grain-free, gluten-free, dairy-free, and egg-free!

This post is a year in the making.  I am so happy to finally have the recipe to share with you.  Toiling with this is one of those things that you really can only do one change at a time to know exactly what isn’t right in the final product.  Last week when I wasthisclosetoit, I had too much agar agar in it and it was more thick gelatin-like than gooey thick like a lemon bar should be.  It was good, but not great.  Yesterday, I ate a second piece right after the first piece.  The last few days have been rough, so hitting jackpot was a big bright spot for me.  Good things can always happen when you let them.

My first trials with this was to make it egg-free before I was even egg-free.  Then I decided to go back to using eggs and for some reason I was still having problems.  Now that I’m egg-free and Meyer Lemons are abundant in stores, I decided it was time to go back to the first trials.  I use agar agar because it will keep things clear and with most foods when trying to get it to thicken, you don’t need to cook it.  Bonus, it has a nice protein content.

The crust is a press in crust, but you need to use pie weights or dried beans when baking it.  Someone forgot to do it this time around.  *looks around whistling*  You also want to bake it completely because once you add the filling it doesn’t go back in the oven.  Also, my final product is fairly tart since I’m using raw local honey.  You can use palm sugar, but the filling will be a darker amber.  If you still use white sugar, you could use that, too.  Just make sure you taste the filling before adding the agar agar to make sure the filling is at your sweetness level.

This calls for some waiting.  The filling starts to thicken as it cools and it can take an hour or more for it to get thick enough to add the lavender. It will set quicker once it’s in the pan.  Also, I dusted the top with homemade powdered sugar.  The filling sucked it up really fast, but it did give balance to the tartness.

Meyer Lemon Lavender Bars – 9 servings

1 1/2 cups almond flour (I use Honeyville)

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup palm shortening (I use Spectrum)

1-2 Tablespoons chilled filtered water

Juice of 6 Meyer Lemons (should yield 2/3 – 3/4 cup), pulp and seeds strained out

1 cup filtered water

1/2 cup raw local honey or palm sugar

1 Tablespoon agar agar powder

1 teaspoon lavender

2 Tablespoons palm sugar

1/2 teaspoon arrowroot.

Preheat oven to 350.  You can grease an 8×8 pan, but I didn’t and nothing stuck to it.  I use a glass pan.  In a medium bowl whisk together almond flour and salt.  Cut in palm shortening with a pastry blender or two knifes until you have coarse crumbs.  Add in a tablespoon of water and stir together.  Add more water a little at a time if it is not forming a big ball of dough.  It will look almost like regular pastry dough, but will feel stickier.  Dump the dough out into your pan and press firmly into the bottom, spreading it out as evenly as possible.  Cover with parchment and weigh it down with pie weights or dried beans.  Bake for 30 minutes and set aside to cool.  Combine Meyer lemon juice, water, and honey or sugar in a small saucepan over medium heat.  Bring to a boil while whisking together well.  Whisk in agar agar powder well.  Remove from heat and allow to cool.  Check every 15 minutes or so and whisk.  Once it starts to thicken enough to suspend the lavender, whisk in the lavender.  Pour into the pan and let it finish setting.  Before serving dust with powdered sugar or unrefined powdered sugar.  To make the unrefined powdered sugar add palm sugar and arrowroot starch to a coffee/spice grinder and grind until the sugar is a fine powder.

This post is linked to Wellness Weekends at Diet, Dessert, and Dogs; at Slightly Indulgent Tuesday at Simply Sugar & Gluten-Free; and Gluten-Free Wednesdays at The Gluten-Free Homemaker.

Winter Hash

It’s funny how things kick you into action sometimes.  This Winter Hash is something I started making as soon as the winter squashes came into the stores.  It’s helped me get over the fact that I eggs are not part of my breakfast routine anymore and I was able to make a large batch on my day off and have it ready in the mornings for breakfast when I woke up.  The adrenal fatigue is not very conducive to making a healthy breakfast every morning.  I still like to make a large batch even though I’m not working now.

I kept meaning to share the recipe with you and well, you know what happens when you’re sick.  You go into save mode and only the things that have to get done get done.  Then I forgot as I started to get better because I was doing other things like cleaning.  Yeah.  I would no longer feel embarrassed about the state of our apartment if someone happened to drop by.  Then Deanna at The Mommy Bowl posted her recipe for Sweet Potato & Swiss Chard Saute.  I knew it was time to finally get it written down and photographed.

The beauty of this Winter Hash is everything is interchangeable.  Don’t want collards?  Use kale, chard, turnip greens, etc.  Don’t like butternut squash?  Use any other Winter squash or sweet potatoes.  Just know that sweet potatoes really will sweeten the whole dish.  Can’t find shallots?  Use onions (white, yellow, red, green), garlic, or leeks.  Don’t like italian sausage?  Use ham, ground beef, chicken, or beans.  If you can do soy, tofu would work, too.  In fact, I came up with this in an attempt to make it a vegan scramble, but never got it to turn out the way I wanted it to.  I like to change everything up each time I make it.  Sometimes I use collards, other times I use kale.  You could do hot Italian sausage with mustard greens for a hash with a big kick.  I use a variety of different aromatics depending on what the main ingredients are.  This is something to play with and find what combinations you like.

Winter Squash – serves 4 – 6

1 pound mild Italian sausage (or other protein of choice) – if it is in casings, squeeze it out of the casing

1 shallot, sliced

4 cups diced butternut squash (or other Winter squash of choice)

1 bunch collard greens (or other greens of choice)

1 tablespoon fennel seed

salt

Heat a large skillet over medium heat.  Add the sausage and break it up as it browns.  Don’t worry if the sausage sticks to the bottom, it will be released later in the cooking process.  Once the sausage is browned, add the shallots and cook for two minutes.  Add the squash and fennel seed.  Stir together and cover.  Cook for about 5 minutes covered.  Add your greens and season with salt, stirring to mix everything together.  Cover again and cook for another 5 minutes.  If your squash is not cooked through, cover and cook for a few more minutes.

This post is linked to Gluten-Free Wednesdays at The Gluten-Free Homemaker.

The Year of Me

Peace and sanity in the midst of a concrete jungle

“In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” ~Albert Camus

I put others first.  I always have.  It is something I picked up from both of my grandmothers when I was young.  It is not necessarily a bad thing.  Taking care of others first all the time will take its toll though.

My doctor finally diagnosed me with adrenal fatigue last November after months of trying to figure it all out.  I knew something was very wrong with me and I thought my thyroid was out of whack yet again.  I was having some of my classic symptoms of heart palpitations, getting cold easily, and extreme fatigue.   I also had problems with pain all over my body.  Not at once.  There was the usual suspects, my feet and plantar fasciitis seeming to be constantly wired no matter what I did to take care of them.  No amount of rest between my shifts at work would seem to help calm them down.  Some nights I’d wake up with some kind of pain shooting through some part of my body, like my left hip.  It would keep me awake and I would be dragging myself into work in the morning on 4 hours of sleep.  Inflammation was ravaging my body and I lost control.

Once I had a path to follow and I took my first steps, I started feeling change.  The supplements my doctor has me on for my adrenals immediately helped calm the inflammation and pain.  For the first time in two years, how my feet felt did not rule my day.

I started making changes to my thoughts and thought processes to help.  I started to stop doing everything at work.  Meaning, I wasn’t running clear across the store to take care of a call because the half a dozen people I knew were there weren’t answering.  I enabled those people to continue to not do their jobs by doing that for 2 years, I worked myself up into an emotional frenzy because they weren’t doing their job, and it took a physical toll on my body.  Stress is not just mental and emotion.  There are dozens of physical stressors that can add to the stress load our adrenals are trying to take care of for us.  When I went over all the classic symptoms of adrenal fatigue with Chaz he said what I hadn’t voiced yet, “You’ve been like that since I’ve known you.”

There are a myriad of stressors that accumulated through the years.  As my adrenals became more depleted, the less I was able to handle the stressors the way I normally would when “healthy.”  I felt myself close to flying off the handle all the time.  Little things just made me want to rip heads off.  Then my cousin took his own life and things really went downhill for me.  I couldn’t pull myself out of the grief to smile at all.  Everyone around me knew something was wrong, but I wasn’t talking about.  Because really, how do you talk about  a loved one committing suicide?  I’m the kind of person who likes to lift people up rather than bring them down and with the losses I already experienced up to that point last year, I was done with death.  It also didn’t help that I did not go home for his funeral.

I thought that I could manage still working at my job with reduced hours.  However, I was still coming home with no energy and spending all my time on the sofa doing nothing but watching Netflix.  I thought I was doing okay since I wasn’t crawling into bed as soon as I got home.  In my mind I hadn’t hit bottom like I had when I was struggling with the hypothyroidism.  Then it hit me.  I left a job I loved after 10 1/2 years because they wanted to add to my work load and I knew either my current clients would miss out because I was being stretched thing or I would keep doing for them what I was doing on top of the added cases and then work myself into the ground.  I saw back then if I stayed I would get sick.  Here I was already worked into the ground with a compromised immune system (I was constantly fighting off one infection after another) and I hadn’t left.

As run down as I was I should have collapsed by this time.  I should have been in the hospital with kidney problems.  I should have passed out from the multitude of postural hypotension incidents I was having.  I would tell myself while pushing a flat of furniture, “I should just collapse.  I can feel it coming.  Just give in.  No.  DON’T give in.  Don’t collapse.  Hang in there.  You can make it.”  The warrior in me wouldn’t let me give in.

If you’re wondering why I didn’t leave after my diagnosis, one of the reasons was all the reading I was doing was telling me not to make major changes like quitting your job.  So, I made small changes like requesting less hours.  Probably a foolish thing to do but it made sense at the time.  Looking back, I probably should have gone in and turned in my notice as soon as I was diagnosed.

But, I finally did it four weeks later. I turned in my two-week notice and started to look forward to freedom, taking care of myself, and recovering.

It’s been over two months since I left my job.  I’m getting more consistent sleep.  Not always 8 hours, but it is  more sleep that I’ve gotten in years.  The stiffness in my neck and shoulders is starting to dissipate slowly.  I have more energy.  I can start a task like cleaning the bathrooms and not need several breaks.  In fact, I was able to do all the household weekly chores in one day.  I haven’t been able to do that in a long time.   I am taking less time in the morning to get myself moving.  It used to take me 2 hours or more to get myself going for the day.  Now, I can wake up, eat breakfast, and get myself ready right away if needed without dragging.

I’m not fully healthy.  Not yet.  But I am getting there.  It took me daily reminders once I was home all day to remember that everything didn’t need to happen at once.  I could take my time.  If I didn’t get through what I planned for the day, it was okay.  I stopped pushing myself and instead focused on just me.  I do that a lot these days.  Talk to myself starting with, “It is okay…”  Because it is.  It is okay to slow yourself down.  It is okay to neglect some little things that you can let slide for now in order to take care of yourself.

I’m not the type to do vision boards or picking themes for my year.  Honestly, I never heard of those things until 2 years ago.  If I had to choose a theme for this new year it is Me.  This is the year of Me where I recover and focus on what I want and need rather than focusing on everyone else.  It is not selfish.  It is honoring my body and my sanity.

It is okay to put yourself first.  If you don’t take care of yourself and your well-being, no one else will.

 

Dairy-Free Pesto

Dairy-Free Pesto

I ate a lot of tomato based sauces in my college years.  I tired of it and avoided it when eating Italian for a while.  That’s when I discovered that Italian food and pastas do not always have to be slathered in a tomato sauce.  I ate spaghetti with nothing but grated Parmesan cheese from the plastic container and dried oregano and dried basil for years.  Moving to Kentucky brought more experiences in having pasta with pesto or lemon butter wine sauces.   Then there is the Browned Butter with Mizithra Chesse at The Old Spaghetti Factory.  If I can ever have dairy again, that might be my first food outing.

Going dairy-free seemed a bit limiting at first.  Then I slowly started to learn how I can make different things that used to have dairy in them either with a dairy-free replacement or without any kind of replacement at all.  Mexican foods I just don’t even bother with dairy-free cheeses anymore.  I either don’t like the taste and/or smell, or it has casein in it which really doesn’t make it dairy-free in my eyes.

One of the things I decided I needed to conquer was pesto even though I do tomato sauces now.  I didn’t want to get tired of tomato sauce again.  I love a good pesto and making it is so easy that it can be done while your gluten-free pasta is boiling in salty water.  Or you can make a batch or two ahead of time and freeze them in an ice cube tray to keep longer.

Adjust the ingredients to your taste.  If you want more garlic, add more garlic.  If you want it cheesier, add more nutritional yeast.  Just make sure you keep tasting and adjusting.

Dairy-Free Pesto – yield about 1/2 cup

2 cups fresh basil, packed

3 cloves garlic

1/3 cup nutritional yeast

1/4 cup pine nuts or raw walnuts

pinch of salt

Olive oil

Add all ingredients but the olive oil to a food processor.  Start the food processor and slowly drizzle the olive oil through the feeder tube.  Add as much oil to make the pesto the consistency you want.  Some people like theirs thin.  I like mine thick.  Scrape down the sides of the processor.  Taste and adjust ingredients or salt and process again.

This post is linked to Gluten-Free Wednesdays at The Gluten-Free Homemaker, Wellness Weekend at Diet, Dessert, and Dogs, and 5 Ingredient Mondays at The Daily Dietribe.